"A Man's a Man for all that!" - Rabbie Burns

"Religion? No thanks. I prefer not to outsource my brainwashing." - Bunc
Trying to get your average Joe creationist to understand the phrase scientific theory is as hard as getting a fish to enjoy mountaineering. Its an unimagined world for them - it requires a complete reversal of their normal modes of thinking and being. The fact that humans could explain the complexities of this world without a creating God is a world view they cannot grasp. It's like asking a tuna if it appreciates the view from the top of Mount Everest. Bunc

Jan 29, 2009

Bloggers Medical Syndromes and Conditions

Here is a list of Bloggers Medical conditions. This was triggered by an amusing story today of how a young doctor 34 years ago had a letter published in the British Medical Journal telling of a patient she had who had developed a condition called "Cello Scrotum" as a result of prolonged cello playing. That young doctor is now a Baroness in the UK House of Lords and she has just come clean and admitted that it was all a hoax.

This revelation of a made up occupational medical condition got me thinking. What type of medical conditions do you think Bloggers would suffer from? Here is my list - one or two are genuine by the way - I will leave you to speculate on which are which and to decide if you suffer from any of them. Please note the high and unsurprising prevalence of mental health disorders in this list of Bloggers Medical Conditions.

Bloggeritus Enviousmus - A mental health condition developed by Bloggers who develop morbid envy of the success of someone else's blog. ( Also known commonly as Blogenvy)

Bloggers Wrist - A painful feeling in the wrist caused by leaning too heavily on a hard surface while typing..

Bloggers elbow - tingling sensations in the elbow caused by similar posture to Bloggers Wrist.

Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Syndrome (OCBS)- A behavioural disorder where the Blogger is so obsessively and compulsively involved in their blog that they forget to do other important things in their life.

Buncinitis - A pervasive belief by the blogger that all the worlds ills would be solved if only the world/ governments etc would take the sage advice of the afflicted blogger.

Loonitus religiousus - Obsessive cynicism coupled with literal religiosity and a conviction that ones actions are being watched and judged by some unseen being. ( Note that the full Latin term for this condition is Loonitoonus Religiousus Rapturi )

Post Blogging Eye Tremor - Caused by reading too many web pages in succession at a fast pace and constantly scanning eyes side to side. Once blogging is finished for the night the blogger discovers that their eyes are continuing to scan side to side involuntarily when they try to go to sleep.

Bloggers Night Sweats - Suffered by bloggers who wake from nightmares in which their blog crashed and all archived posts were lost.

Lonely Blogger Syndrome - A common syndrome among new bloggers in particular in which the blogger makes regular posts of earth shattering novelty and creativity but realises that no one is actually visiting their blog and that when they do they don't give a damn anyway.

Nymphoblogmania - A compulsion to blog any subject that crops up and to read and comment on as many other peoples blogs as possible.

Premature Blogulation - A sad condition in which the Blogger inevitably presses the publish button far too early and before the blog is really fully warmed up. This condition is fairly easily cured by advising the blogger to engage in sufficient posting foreplay by for example researching the subject,, spellchucking the post etc etc.

Blogstipation - A painful condition where the blogger is full of great ideas for a post but just cant get them out.

Ok that's my list - do you have any that you would add?

19 comments:

Delirious said...

ROFL!

How about BLOGNESIA...when you forget that you already posted about that subject once before. ;)

Anonymous said...

Very funny! I love the Blogstipation one - I have suffered from that!

rummuser said...

Why not extend the scrotum story to blogger's scrotum?

Bunc said...

Blogger's Scrotum is not something that I have had any personal experience of. I assume that extended Blogger's scrotum is an acute condition requiring immediate surgery. Do you have some experience of this rum?

I have occasional attacks of Bloggers Backside but I usually treat this by getting upp and walking around for a while.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Blogmares, when you dream about blogging and solving your days blogging problems...

Great post, I am not addicted to blogging, just dedicated!

AV
http://netherregionoftheearthii.blogspot.com/
http://tomusarcanum.blogspot.com/
http://thingsthatfizz.blogspot.com/

Looney said...

Oh, what a joyful read!

My contribution is post-post-syndrome. This is where the blogger posts a rebuttal to something in a huff and a rush, heads off to somewhere that doesn't have any internet access, and then worries about whether the facts that she so confidently affirmed were actually true. This is compounded by the realization that there were grammatical errors and word usage problems, along with emotionalism that will forever smear the reputation of the now shamed blogger, and he can't even get back to the computer to delete / correct the post and cover the evidence!

Bunc said...

Blognesia, Blogmares and Post-post syndrome - hell I have had them all ! Keep them coming.

The Jules said...

How about PBSD (Post Blogmatic Stress Disorder) - where the blogger really, REALLY thinks they shouldn't have posted that.

http://gravelfarm.blogspot.com/

Don said...

Bloggerection: A thought or post that stands out above the rest!
Thanks for visiting my blog as well. I hope that I've enabled you to save some money!

"Hell, I've got to run! I've just had another bloggererection, and this one is big!"

DB said...

My two...going to bed and not being able to sleep because I am still annoyed with a comment or am waiting for a response to mine. It is too late at night for my creativity to function on naming this.

And "Lonely Blogger Syndrome" you listed above. The worst part is when you get a ton of comments on a crappy post, and follow up with an amazing post and get nothing.

Thanks for contributing to my blogsomnia...I really should get to sleep and stop surfing.

rummuser said...

I would not know, but I am willing to be examined by the good Baroness to see if what I suffer from, can be called the blogger's scrotum.

Bunc said...

Tut Tut Rum - any old excuse eh? And at your age too..
Blogerection - great one I was going to make some smutty comment about it depending on how long the blog sticks out from the rest but I had better not...

Blogsmonia - damn you beat me to that one. I thought of that last night but didn't bother posting it. That gets written up in the medical books as named by you DB

Bunc said...

PBSD - (Thinks...Hmmm maybe I shouldn't have posted that last inuendo)

Delirious said...

Blogenvy?....they wish they had thought of that topic first? ;) (I think I'm suffering from that right now)

UNRR said...

This post has been linked for the HOT5 Daily 2/1/2009, at The Unreligious Right

Michael said...

I hope you mind, but I will be saving this list and using the words here in my blogs and comments. Hopefully these terms will catch on! Great ideas! :)

Michael.

Bunc said...

suspect you mean that you hope I don't mind Michael. At least I hope so! Of course I don't mind. I will call round to your place to collect the copyright fee each Friday at 9:30.

If you are not in I will place it in the hands of my collection agency;
Web Enforcement Inc
http://web-enforcement-inc.blogspot.com/

Michael said...

That is what I meant, sorry about that, haha.

I used some of your medical terms on my blog here. I swear, if more people started using them, these could really catch on and become popular!

Michael.

Bunc said...

Hi Michael - I checked out your blog(s). You really do have Obsessive Compulsive Blogging Syndrome with an element of Nymphoblogmania. I guess they could be popular terms among Nymphoblogmaniacs!

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