"A Man's a Man for all that!" - Rabbie Burns

"Religion? No thanks. I prefer not to outsource my brainwashing."
Trying to get your average Joe creationist to understand the phrase scientific theory is as hard as getting a fish to enjoy mountaineering. Its an unimagined world for them - it requires a complete reversal of their normal modes of thinking and being. The fact that humans could explain the complexities of this world without a creating God is a world view they cannot grasp. It's like asking a tuna if it appreciates the view from the top of Mount Everest.

May 10, 2009

Lady luck at the Casino

I have plenty of vices but gambling has never been one of them. I buy a lottery ticket very occasionally but my biggest gambling activities in the past have tended to be an annual game of all night poker with my brothers - for pennies or matches.

Lady luck has however clearly been saving herself for me all these years. I was at a 2 day work planning event at the end of last week and there was a Casino right next door to the Hotel. A colleague, who I will refer to as SM, is a decidedly bad influence on me. Alcohol seldom passes my lips during the middle of the week - and often not even at the weekend. But put me in company with SM and I am soon downing pints of beer like they are going out of fashion. Now I must add gambling to the list.

The first thing on our agenda that evening was a trip to the pub to watch the football ( Chelsea and Barcelona) and by the time that was finished I was, to use a good old Scottish phrase, a bit pished.

So what do British blokes do when they are a bit pished after the pub? They go for a kebab of course!

Greasy kebabs in hand we wended our way back to the hotel and decided we would pop into the Casino - just for a look and maybe a final drink.

They weren't very keen on me taking my unfinished greasy kebab in with me so I nipped into the hotel and left it in my room for eating later. I'll get back to the kebab story.

So, back down to the Casino we buy a drink and wander around watching the action.

The first thing that struck me was the number of Chinese people in the Casino. I know that gambling is a big interest in Chinese culture but I hadn't realised just how popular. Now I know why the Chinese restaurants are so keen to shut up shop promptly at the end of the evening - most of them must be heading for the Casino.

There were blokes in their twenties, grannies in their eighties and just about anyone you could think of in between at the Casino - not quite what I had expected.

Anyway after watching for a bit we decided to have a dabble. We pooled our cash - a grand total of £4 each and looking like the complete novices that we were tried the roulette table at 50p a chip. Hey big spenders!

Well we picked three numbers and put one chip on each for our first bet - and one of them came up! 37 to 1 pay out. A complete fluke of course.

Still totally unsure what we were doing I suggested that we put a chip on evens which SM did. the croupier pointed out that odds/evens was a minimum £5 bet so very nervously we upped our stake from the 50p chip we had thrown in. And again it comes up and this time we double the stake. We did this another twice on the run ( my memory is hazy at this point because we were giddy with our high rolling win.)

Clutching our ill gotten gains we de-camped outside to decide what to do next. We had hardly anticipated winning so it was all a bit of a shock. So after a bit of a debate we decided we would walk away with our gains but that we would just go back in "for another look."

Once we are back in SM suggests we just have one go at the Puggy ( One arm bandit to non Scots). So he plonks £1 in. the tumblers roll and we realise we haven't a clue what to do when the lights flash. A nearby player shows us the button to press and .... out drops £27 !

It's enough to turn a man to gambling I tell you! Anyway we stuck to our decision and we did walk away with our pockets jingling with or ill gotten gains.

Of course the Casino got it all back. We told our colleagues about our luck and they decided they would go with us the following night "just for a look". We put £5 each into a kitty and managed to lose the lot n three goes on the roulette table. So much for our golden touch.

And the kebab that i had left in my room the first night? Well when I got back to my room I decide to eat it lying in bed and watch the TV before I went to sleep. What I didn't realise is that while it had been sitting much of the grease had soaked through to the bottom. When I got up the next morning I realised that the cushion I had used to sit the container on had soaked up all the grease which had oozed through the bottom of the container. there was a horrible big grease stain all over the cushion.

That is why I normally don't drink or gamble during the week.


3 comments:

Looney said...

Sounds like beginners luck. There is a law of physics somewhere that explains how it works.

Singapore has a clever system for the gambling. They only allow foreigners to gamble, while the locals are expected to simply watch or work as employees.

rummuser said...

Come on, do tell us all about what you do during the week ends.

Marf said...

Well, at least you had some fun, right?

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