"A Man's a Man for all that!" - Rabbie Burns

"Religion? No thanks. I prefer not to outsource my brainwashing." - Bunc
Trying to get your average Joe creationist to understand the phrase scientific theory is as hard as getting a fish to enjoy mountaineering. Its an unimagined world for them - it requires a complete reversal of their normal modes of thinking and being. The fact that humans could explain the complexities of this world without a creating God is a world view they cannot grasp. It's like asking a tuna if it appreciates the view from the top of Mount Everest. Bunc

Jan 5, 2010

The Atheist Ten Commandments

 1. Do not believe in any god or gods or be bound by any religious doctrine. Neither shall you make for yourself an idol in the form of a god or bow down to a god or worship any god whatever name they may go by.
2 You shall only say "oh Jebus" or OMG! when the car breaks down or in other severe circumstances.
3. Do not work everyday - take at least one day a week off work and chill out..
4 Honor your father ( if you know who he is) and your mother.
5 You shall not murder but you shall mock.
6 You shall not lust after re-touched photos of glamour models.
7 You shall not get caught downloading file shared copyrighted materials from the internet.
8 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour even if he is a lying toe-rag.
9 You shall not covet your neighbor’s MP3 player; your neighbor’s trophy wife, or your neighbours 4x4
10 Start again at commandment 1

As you can see my Atheist Ten commandments actually consist of nine commandments plus a tenth recursive commandment . This is in keeping with the spirit of the Biblical ten commandments which come in at least three different flavours ( two in Exodus and one in Deuteronomy) and also don't add up neatly to ten.


Helen McGinn said...

Are you ex communicated if you can only nod to 6 of 'em?

Bunc said...

Don't fret Helen because we atheists don't do ex-commuinication ( well not unless you break commandment no 1.
You have my curiosity roused about which ones you are only on nodding acquaintance with!

Marf said...

1. I'm a little sketchy on number 1, should be "Neither shall you make for yourself an idol in the form of a god unless it is made of spaghetti."

2. What does it matter?

3. Make that 2 days and you've got a deal.

4. No problems here.

5. No problems here.

6. But... Nothing's real anymore anyway.

7. "not get caught" I can deal with that.

8. No problems here.

9. A bit dated after those technologies have been replaced.

10. I like this, it keeps you going through them instead of the typical Christian read-then-ignore.

Looney said...

Hmmm. Were they written on stone tablets?

Bunc said...

@marf- re no 2 - It doesn't matter - there has to be one that you can break with impunity.
@Looney - They were written on the back of a beer mat and delivered to me by the great barman in the sky.

Looney said...

OK. It does make y'all sound like a Judaeo-Christian splinter group. Do you have anything comparable that is similar to Sharia law? Or Buddhist prayer wheels?

Bunc said...

Give me a little while to rummage in my files and I am sure I can find the Atheist versions of those for you Looney.

Looney said...

Oh, I should note that number 7 (not getting caught), at least as it has pertained to other things in my youth, is something that I have systematically failed at.

Rummuser said...

No 10 could well be "Thou shalt not make a religion of Atheism."

Bunc said...

Rum - self evident truths do not require commandments.

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