1. Do not believe in any god or gods or be bound by any religious doctrine. Neither shall you make for yourself an idol in the form of a god or bow down to a god or worship any god whatever name they may go by.
2 You shall only say "oh Jebus" or OMG! when the car breaks down or in other severe circumstances.
3. Do not work everyday - take at least one day a week off work and chill out..
4 Honor your father ( if you know who he is) and your mother.
5 You shall not murder but you shall mock.
6 You shall not lust after re-touched photos of glamour models.
7 You shall not get caught downloading file shared copyrighted materials from the internet.
8 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour even if he is a lying toe-rag.
9 You shall not covet your neighbor’s MP3 player; your neighbor’s trophy wife, or your neighbours 4x4
10 Start again at commandment 1
As you can see my Atheist Ten commandments actually consist of nine commandments plus a tenth recursive commandment . This is in keeping with the spirit of the Biblical ten commandments which come in at least three different flavours ( two in Exodus and one in Deuteronomy) and also don't add up neatly to ten.
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10 comments:
Are you ex communicated if you can only nod to 6 of 'em?
Don't fret Helen because we atheists don't do ex-commuinication ( well not unless you break commandment no 1.
You have my curiosity roused about which ones you are only on nodding acquaintance with!
1. I'm a little sketchy on number 1, should be "Neither shall you make for yourself an idol in the form of a god unless it is made of spaghetti."
2. What does it matter?
3. Make that 2 days and you've got a deal.
4. No problems here.
5. No problems here.
6. But... Nothing's real anymore anyway.
7. "not get caught" I can deal with that.
8. No problems here.
9. A bit dated after those technologies have been replaced.
10. I like this, it keeps you going through them instead of the typical Christian read-then-ignore.
Hmmm. Were they written on stone tablets?
@marf- re no 2 - It doesn't matter - there has to be one that you can break with impunity.
@Looney - They were written on the back of a beer mat and delivered to me by the great barman in the sky.
OK. It does make y'all sound like a Judaeo-Christian splinter group. Do you have anything comparable that is similar to Sharia law? Or Buddhist prayer wheels?
Give me a little while to rummage in my files and I am sure I can find the Atheist versions of those for you Looney.
Oh, I should note that number 7 (not getting caught), at least as it has pertained to other things in my youth, is something that I have systematically failed at.
No 10 could well be "Thou shalt not make a religion of Atheism."
Rum - self evident truths do not require commandments.
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